Back in the Day (No Wi-Fi, No Problem… Except, Well, Everything)

When you grow up in a tiny village where the most “exciting” extracurricular activity is trying not to fall asleep in the mosque, you learn to master the art of… absolutely nothing. No TV, no video games, not even a stray cricket to chase. Our only entertainment was a solid dose of stern lectures from the Mollas, who definitely had “fun police” written on their foreheads. Talking to girls? Haram. Listening to music? You might as well be summoning demons with those tiny tape players some daring souls charged with batteries in their living rooms.

Fast forward to high school in the “big city” nearby (all 10,000 of us crammed into one dusty bus). It was post-vacation morning, and the bus rattled along like a caffeinated mule. I heard my best friend whispering under his breath, and, out of sheer curiosity—and fear of eternal donkey ears—blurted, “Dude, are you listening to music? That’s totally Haram!”

He grinned conspiratorially. “Relax, my big cousin is a Molla, and he secretly listens to Haydeh. If it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for us.”

I was unconvinced. First, I wasn’t taking any chances on celestial hearing appendages. Second, I’d been scarred for life by visions of angels ear-muffling all the musical sinners.

But you know how temptation works: just when you think you’re safe, it sneaks up and shoves a Walkman in your face. The very next day, my friend led me to the back yard of our dormitory—a place so secluded we might as well have been plotting world domination. There, another comrade whipped out a battery-powered Walkman and slipped in a tape. The first notes of Siavash Ghomayshi singing “Frangis” floated out, and my life changed forever.

One ear-worm later, I was a full-blown music convert. The solemn world of hammams and holy recitals suddenly had a heartbeat—and it was grooving. Who knew my moral downfall would sound so good on side A?

Moral of the story? Never underestimate the power of curiosity… or the allure of a guy with secret cassette tapes. And as for donkey ears in the afterlife? I like to think I’ll out-dance them in paradise’s grandest disco. 🕺🎶