It’s fascinating how sometimes the most powerful shifts in self-perception come from the simplest turns of phrase.

I’ve sat across from countless clients in my counseling practice and noticed an interesting pattern: the way people talk about themselves and the world around them is a direct reflection of how they feel internally.

When a woman radiates genuine confidence and self-assuredness, it tends to show up in her vocabulary—those little phrases she sprinkles into conversation that communicate calm inner strength.

Now, none of us walk around quoting inspirational gurus in our daily chats. But there are certain key expressions that signal, loud and clear, someone’s sense of self-worth.

I’m sharing them here for two reasons: one, to help you notice these empowering cues in other women you encounter (sometimes observing them can spark your own motivation), and two, to encourage you to incorporate them in your own speech if you want a confidence boost.

Remember, the beauty of language is that it can work from the outside in. When you talk to yourself or to others in a certain way, you slowly but surely reshape your internal beliefs.

So let’s dig into the phrases that are often used by women who know their worth, cherish their individuality, and stand confidently on their own two feet.

1. “I trust my intuition.”

Whether it’s a decision about a career pivot, an issue in a relationship, or even something as small as deciding which book to read next, there’s something quietly powerful about trusting your gut.

Confident women recognize the value of their own experiences and emotional cues. They don’t constantly second-guess whether their feelings are valid; instead, they treat intuition as a trusted advisor.

There’s a reason so many people talk about the importance of self-trust: if you can’t rely on your own judgment, how can you confidently make choices that align with who you are?

Personally, I can recall a moment early in my counseling career where I had to choose between expanding my private practice or taking a step back to focus on writing my book.

Logically, it made sense to keep pushing forward with the practice, but I had this nagging sense that pouring my energy into my writing would better serve my long-term goals. Trusting that hunch helped me grow in ways I never expected—my writing ended up resonating with people who needed it most.

2. “No.”

Two little letters can carry a world of weight. Women with healthy self-esteem typically aren’t afraid to say “no” without feeling they owe the entire world an explanation. They understand that “no” is a complete sentence, and it’s neither rude nor selfish to set boundaries.

I often see clients struggle with guilt when they decline invitations, assignments, or requests. They worry they’ll let people down or be viewed as uncooperative. Yet, ironically, trying to please everyone eventually leads to burnout and resentment.

High self-esteem recognizes that time and energy are precious resources. In standing up for their personal space, confident women can nurture their own well-being while also showing others how they wish to be treated.

If you find yourself always adding a long-winded excuse after every “no,” you might benefit from trimming that reasoning. It can feel awkward at first, but once you realize you’re allowed to protect your own boundaries, the guilt tends to melt away.

3. “I deserve to be treated with respect.”

This phrase encapsulates self-worth. It’s not about demanding special treatment; it’s simply affirming the inherent right we all have to be treated well.

When a woman believes in her own worth, she naturally sets higher standards for how others should speak to and behave around her. She doesn’t tolerate belittling remarks, toxic dynamics, or manipulative tactics. Instead, she calmly but firmly communicates that respect is a non-negotiable.

I once had a client who struggled with this concept in her romantic relationships. She tolerated rude comments because she feared being ‘too demanding.’ Over time, she discovered that articulating her need for respect wasn’t about being needy—it was about showing herself kindness.

As the folks at Verywell Mind stand behind, healthy self-esteem fosters resilience and self-compassion in everyday life. And an important part of self-compassion is expecting basic respect from the people around you.

4. “I appreciate your feedback, but this is my decision.”

Women who value themselves take the opinions of others into consideration without allowing those opinions to overpower their own judgment. There’s a certain balance here: they show gratitude for outside perspectives because constructive feedback can be helpful, but they also remember that the final call remains theirs.

In my book Breaking The Attachment, I talk about how easy it is to slip into codependent behaviors that place everyone else’s needs and preferences above our own.

When a woman with healthy self-esteem says, “I appreciate your feedback, but…,” she’s effectively letting people know she’s open to dialogue, but she won’t be swayed by external pressure if it clashes with her own principles or intuition.

5. “I’m proud of myself.”

Society sometimes labels self-praise as arrogance, especially for women. But there’s a world of difference between being boastful and simply acknowledging your accomplishments.

Women with healthy self-esteem can freely admit that they’re proud of their hard work, their growth, and the lessons they’ve learned along the way.

A friend of mine recently shared how she finally gave herself permission to celebrate personal wins after years of downplaying them. She started with the small stuff—being proud she stuck to her morning jog, or that she read a challenging book to broaden her horizons.

Gradually, that sense of “I can celebrate myself” grew into something bigger. If you want to nurture your own confidence, don’t shy away from recognizing how far you’ve come.

Brene Brown once stated, “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.” Embracing what you’re proud of is part of owning your story. That’s not arrogance; that’s acceptance.

6. “I can learn from my mistakes.”

You might have read my post on overcoming negative self-talk, where I mentioned that mistakes are often the best teachers. There’s a clear difference between seeing a mistake as a personal failing versus viewing it as a valuable lesson. Women with healthy self-esteem lean on the latter perspective.

They don’t dwell on the errors as a reflection of their worth; instead, they take a deep breath, ask themselves what can be improved, and move on. If you think about it, every setback is a chance to become more empathetic, more knowledgeable, or more innovative.

The team at Psychology Today has pointed out that building a balanced view of ourselves includes accepting that we’re all imperfect beings capable of growth.

7. “I am responsible for my happiness.”

Taking responsibility for one’s own happiness is a classic sign of emotional maturity and high self-esteem. Rather than blaming family, friends, or circumstances for a lack of joy, confident women turn inward. They understand that a fulfilling life begins with their own choices, mindset, and actions.

It’s easy to pin our unhappiness on external factors. But if we consistently rely on other people or external validation to feel good about ourselves, we lose our agency. When a woman declares, “I am responsible for my happiness,” she’s basically acknowledging that she has power over her own life.

This reminder often comes in handy when we face tough situations. While we can’t always control what’s happening around us, we can choose how we respond—and that is tremendously liberating once we internalize it.

8. “Thank you.”

A woman with strong self-esteem embraces kindness and gratitude. She doesn’t feel threatened by recognizing someone else’s effort or generosity. Instead, she says “Thank you” wholeheartedly and allows that warm feeling to uplift both parties.

I remember traveling abroad once and meeting a local family who went out of their way to show me around. The “thank you” I offered was so much more than a polite courtesy; it came from a genuine sense of appreciation.

Strangely enough, accepting kindness also boosted my self-esteem, because it was a beautiful reminder of mutual respect and positive human connection.

A simple “thank you” can break down walls. It’s a phrase that’s both humble and confident at the same time—humble because you’re acknowledging someone else’s kindness, and confident because you’re willing to receive goodness without feeling undeserving.

9. “I can handle this.”

I’ve saved a big one until last, friends. “I can handle this.” Even in moments of uncertainty, women with high self-esteem tend to affirm their belief in their own capability. It’s not that they never feel fear or doubt. Rather, they trust that, with the right resources, mindset, and support if needed, they can figure things out.

Maya Angelou said it beautifully: “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” This quote captures the resilience that underlies genuine self-esteem. Challenges will inevitably come our way, but believing in our ability to handle them transforms obstacles into stepping stones.

It might be worth trying this phrase on days when life feels heavy. Even if you’re unsure about the outcome, simply saying “I can handle this” can bring a sense of calm and focus you on possible solutions rather than limitations.

Final thoughts

All these phrases reflect a core belief: I am worthy. Worthy of love, respect, achievements, and a voice in this world.

Shifting our vocabulary to match that belief can feel a bit odd at first—especially if we’ve spent years putting ourselves down or tiptoeing around other people’s expectations. But language has a quiet power to reshape not only how others see us but also how we see ourselves.

Try sprinkling a few of these phrases into your day-to-day life. Notice how you feel when you say them. Pay attention to how your interactions shift. Over time, you might find that confidence creeps in more naturally, making you less apologetic for who you are and what you need.

And if you slip into old habits (it happens to all of us), that’s okay. Keep reminding yourself that language is a muscle you can train. Each time you exercise it in an empowering way, you reinforce a positive relationship with yourself.

Signing off

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